April 9, 2009

Why Are People So Afraid Of Childbirth?

A recent viral video reminded me of something that I’ve been saying for awhile now: what is it about birth that freaks people out so much?

Welcome to the world, kid

Welcome to the world, kid

I must be missing something. What’s the big deal? It’s just a baby. Sure, they look kinda slimy and blue when they first come out. But that stuff washes off. (I’m actually very glad that I was told about the blue part. Otherwise I might have thought that my wife had cheated on me with E.T.)

I’m not going to wax rhapsodic about “the miracle of childbirth” and all that other garbage. Yes, it’s true. It’s pretty amazing to watch, whether the mother is undergoing a c-section or squatting in a field somewhere. There was a baby inside of her, and then… there it is. A human life, in all of its blue, slimy glory. It’s amazing, and also a little gross.

It just seems to me like everyone is acting like a bunch of little kids. Except that metaphor doesn’t really work. (Or is it a simile? I was out sick the day we learned the difference.) Why not? Because kids usually aren’t as freaked out by this sort of stuff as we are. Ask a child about dissecting something on science class. Sure, some kids want to vomit at the merest mention of a scalpel. But most kids think its extremely cool to be cutting open an owl pellet and checking out what’s inside. An actual person coming out of mommy? Eh. Call me when you’ve got something really gross to show me.

That’s not to say that I think children should be in the hospital room during the birth. It can get a little crazy in there. Maybe there are complications and the birth mother has to be rushed to surgery. Maybe there is yelling and/or cursing. (Lots and lots of cursing.) Maybe the smell is overwhelming. I don’t know. But any grown person who can handle getting someone pregnant should be able to handle viewing the birth of that child.

As for the childless who say that this video makes them want to adopt (which is a good line), more power to you. Lots of kids out there who need loving homes. But for the neo-frat boy “bromance” contingent that makes up the Judd Apatow-iverse, don’t tell me that seeing a baby come out of a woman is more disgusting than drinking shots of Jagermeister. If you can swallow that crap, you can handle doing some time in the room where a kid pokes his or her slimy blue head out for the first time. Let’s all calm down, OK?

image: SXC

Initial Source: Buzzfeed


This post was written by Brett Singer

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Posted under Blog, Featured | 7 Comments »


7 Responses to “Why Are People So Afraid Of Childbirth?”

  1. By not excited about childbirth on Apr 12, 2009 | Reply

    My take on your question: There are lots of reasons childbirth is freaky! For one, I am a woman and can relate to and understand the inner workings of a female body, unlike a man as yourself. Squeezing a human out of my vagina is not my idea of a good time. Here are some other reasons: Lots of gross stuff happens when you are producing babies. Babies are also gross. Unless you have lots of extra help and no job, it’s not easy being pregnant and raising kids. Childbirth can kill you or the baby, or both. You could end up like the octo-mom and have multiple babies come out. And, duh, it HURTS! Do you want to tell me crapping a watermelon wouldn’t freak you out?

  2. By Daddy on Apr 12, 2009 | Reply

    Point taken. I mean more of the “Dude! That’s so gross!” type of reactions, the kind displayed in the movie “Knocked Up.” Believe me, I have a lot of respect for what women go through in childbirth. It’s your choice, but once a guy gets a woman pregnant, he should be able to deal with the fact that a child may come out of the woman he slept with. But again – point taken. Thanks for your comment!

  3. By Lark on Jun 5, 2009 | Reply

    I’m 33 weeks pregnant and I don’t get the big deal. How can you get freaked out about something that is the very reason why each and every one of us is on the planet. And it’s 2009, childbirth, at least in first world nations, is a whole lot less ‘scary’ than it ever has been.

    And women’s bodies are designed for this! It’s not an anomaly! And babies aren’t any more gross than adults are. Just because they poop in diapers doesn’t make then nastier than a lot of adults I see walking around. Adults are just gross about what they put IN their bodies.

  4. By mary on Jul 7, 2009 | Reply

    Almost 600,000 die every year from childbirth. watch it happen sometime and then write about how “natural’ it seems. Skin is ripped and tears, it is bloody and terrifying.

  5. By Sara on Jun 27, 2011 | Reply

    (Most) men are freaking sexist. You god damn men have no clue! Too many sexist men get women pregnant and expect them to just pop out babies like it’s nothing and that’s the disgusting part. Women go through way too much and men just sit and watch. (Most) men seriously deserve a real good kick in the freakin balls, every month. And even harder when a woman is having contractions. That is my view..

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