June 28, 2011

When Breast Milk Attacks

Medela Swing Breast Pump

Breast Pump or WMD?

Next on Fox — When Breast Milk Attacks. Don’t act you like you wouldn’t watch that show. Breast milk attacks actually happen — one recently, another last year.

UPDATE: at the bottom, an update about why spit and breast milk are not the same thing. Seriously, I make a really good point.

A 30-year-old Ohio woman named Stephanie Robinette has been charged with “domestic violence, assault, obstructing official business, resisting arrest and disorderly conduct”, in part because she sprayed breast milk at police.

Take that, coppers!

According to FoxNews.com, Robinette is a charter school teacher and was drunk at the time. Those charter school teachers. Always causing trouble.

Robinette apologized and was released, although she did plead not guilty, according to WLWT.com.

The best headline was “Police nip woman over spilled milk“, but the article has been pulled. Here’s a screenshot:

Police nip woman in breast milk attack

Heh heh. Nip.

This has happened at least one time before. Here’s a video report from 2010 about Toni Tramel, who “allegedly squirted a stream of breast milk in the face of the female deputy watching her,” according to Newser.com.

You need to a flashplayer enabled browser to view this YouTube video

That time there was controversy because police referred to breast-milk as a “bio-hazard”. If you want to make the Internet explode, say something that compares breast-milk to poison. Tick… tick… BOOM.

It will be interesting to see if there is any backlash this time around. In 2010, Toni Tramel was already under arrest when she conducted her breast milk attack, and people thought that she should be treated the same as someone who spits in the face of a police officer. (I don’t think people who spit at the police are treated well, but spit is not referred to as a bio-hazard as far as I know.) Stephanie Robinette had locked herself in her car in front of her house after police responded to a domestic disturbance call. So she was exhibiting somewhat less than stellar behavior when she used her breast milk as a weapon. (Note: I don’t really think breast milk is a weapon.) Then again, by pleading not guilty, this issue will presumably pop up again. So to speak.

UPDATE: Singer and Facebook friend Tracy Newirth writes on my FB Wall that the police “should be thanking her for the health boost, not arresting her. :-)”. That’s not gonna happen, but regardless of what you think of the health benefits of breast milk (I personally believe the evidence is pretty overwhelming that breast-feeding your baby is a good idea), the above comparison to spittle isn’t a good one. Not for politically correct reasons, but spit tends not to have any nutritional value whatsoever, and is in fact rather unsanitary. For what it’s worth, the reasoning was used because the Toni Tramel’s 2010 breast milk attack was considered a felony, according to FoxNews.com. Spitting on an officer is a lesser offense, I suppose. Neither is a good idea. Just want to make that clear.

Medela Swing Breast Pump image via Amazon. DaddyTips does not believe that breast pumps should be classified as WMDs.

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