Dec 22 2010

Michael Lohan Defends Daughter Lindsay [But He Should Just Shut Up]

Michael Lohan is speaking out about the accusations that his daughter Lindsay assaulted someone at rehab.

This is not a surprise. And it’s nice that he’s supporting his daughter. It is.

Here’s what I wonder, though. Why say anything at all? Is there a point when you decide that you have to speak to the press about your life and the lives of your children, and once you’ve made that decision, there’s no turning back?

Look at someone like Howard Stern. He makes his living talking. (Unlike Michael Lohan, who must make a living somehow, but we don’t know what he does.) He seems able to restrain himself from talking about his children’s private lives, and he almost never mentions his ex-wife Alison. (I imagine this was part of their divorce agreement, although I don’t know this for a fact.)

That’s only one of the many differences between Michael Lohan and Howard Stern, of course. The main one is that Howard is incredibly talented and is the most successful radio personality of all time, arguably the most successful media personality of all time. (Go ahead. Debate me on this topic. You will lose.)

Back to père Lohan. If I were talking to him, I would ask the following:

Dude. What’s up with the press conferences? The talk show appearances? Did it ever occur to you that maybe you should just be there for your daughter? What’s that? You don’t know what to say to reporters when they bombard you with questions? Here’s an idea. Are you ready? You might want to write this down. Got a pen? Okay. Here you go:

“No comment.”

Lindsay Lohan`s father Michael defends his daughter []

Dec 21 2010

Lindsay Lohan a Suspect in Assault Case at Rehab [Blame The Parents?]

I’m not the fan of celebrity news that some folks are, but I admit to having an above average interest in the train-wreck that is Lindsay Lohan. She went to rehab, which is usually a good thing. But according to, Lohan is now a suspect in an assault case.

At what point do you do some kind of major league intervention? Or lock up her parents? Michael Lohan will probably be on any talk show who will have him, talking about his daughter. And Dina. Is she any better? Didn’t she try to turn Lindsay’s younger sister into a star, despite the fact that things were going less than well for her older daughter?

It can’t be JUST the pressures of celebrityhood that turns someone into a kook. Look at Mel Gibson. No, really. Look at him. He’s holding a beaver.


In August it was reported that Mel Gibson’s father thinks the Pope is gay. And then there’s that whole “the Holocaust didn’t happen” thing. We can safely imagine that Mel probably grew up hearing that kind of stuff all the time. (We weren’t there, hence the “probably.”)

Having crazy parents has to be a contributing factor when an adult turns out nutty. Right?

Lindsay Lohan Named a Suspect in Assault Case at Rehab – Crime & Courts, Lindsay Lohan :

Nov 09 2010

Lindsay Lohan Meets With Father Michael At Rehab

I’m not sure why I’m obsessed with Lindsay Lohan and her father Michael. Admittedly, Lindsay’s ongoing downward spiral is more intriguing than some, in part because it seems to be a true never-ending story. It’s not a train-wreck, because, well, when you wreck a train, that’s it. It stops moving. Lindsay Lohan’s life keeps getting more and more tumultuous.

At the moment, Michael Lohan’s little daughter is in court-ordered rehab. Michael, according to published reports, visited her there. She hadn’t seen him in seven months, they say.

An unnamed eyewitness (spywitness?) described the tender scene thusly:

“Lindsay met him at Betty Ford and the pair spent hours together… it was not a fleeting encounter, this appeared well-planned in advance. It was an emotional reunion… there were hugs, kisses and even a few tears when Michael and Lindsay first saw each other.”

Big Daddy Michael Lohan said in a statement that he has “pledged not to comment about anything relating to my daughter.” He then went on to talk about his daughter, saying, “However, what I will say is that I am an incredibly proud father tonight. My daughter is progressing extraordinarily well.”

At least he said something nice. Right?

Actress Lindsay Lohan reunites with disgraced father Michael Celebrity News & Gossip – ( UK)

Dec 21 2009

Michael Lohan Still Talking About Famous Daughter

Can Michael Lohan stop talking? I mean that literally. It appears that he has Lindsay Lohan Tourette Syndrome. He really just canNOT shut up about his daughter.

This time it’s the fact that Lindsay has been hanging out with Leonardo DiCaprio. But they’re not dating or anything. Just spending time together. Oh! And she’s been hanging around other famous dudes too!

“They have been friends for years. Mark Wahlberg, Robert Downey Jr., Leonardo DiCaprio and a few others – I think they have a lot of positive things to offer.”

He’s such a shithead. What possible good can come of all this yammering? Well, good for Lindsay Lohan. Michael Lohan, it keeps his name out there, which seems to be what he cares about.

Leo DiCaprio a good influence on Lilo, says her father – Monsters and Critics

Aug 29 2008

Lindsay Lohan fights with her dad via blog

So apparently Michael “father of the year” Lohan referred to Lindsay’s girlfriend Samantha Ronson as “a drug”. I’m not sure what that means, but he also accused Ronson of planning to write a book about his much-yakked about daughter.
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